This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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