And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
