where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Plan B is the new Plan A
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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