I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
