we have officially lost it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i now understand why vodka
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
