Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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