I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
