exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize