They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
