Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
