You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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