Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
