Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
