You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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