So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize