This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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