God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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