I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
