I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My penis needs a shock collar
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
