you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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