Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
