I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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