24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize