Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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