Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize