Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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