forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize