Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
