You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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