Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
