i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
