There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
