I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
