So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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