Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Found the puke drawer
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
