Umm I'm too high to move.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
