yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
