You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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