There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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