drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
