Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
