Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
