Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The air taste purple.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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