Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
