I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
