buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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