remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
