thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
