But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
