problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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