playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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