please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
