I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
