You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
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i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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