It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
