Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
