Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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