white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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