Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
