Non-Jews are for practice
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
