Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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