To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
