I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We're too hungover to prance.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize