May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
