In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
