gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize