Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
