I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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